What singers are thinking.

 Claudia Freelander blogged in 2018.

While Thom King’s iconic cartoon, “What They Think About When They Sing,” has entertained our community for some thirty years, I am honored to have created the first publication to reprint it with his permission and offer him my heartfelt thanks for the clean copy.

What they think about when they sing.

  




















I admit to singing Tenor.

Chorister's Guide

A Choristers' Guide To Keeping Conductors In Line

The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upmanship. The following rules are intended as guides to the development of habits which will promote the proper type of relationship between singer and conductor.

1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and vice-versa.

2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is under pressure.

3. Bury your head in the music just before cues.

4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal favour.

5. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your nose.

6. Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at the time.

7. At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing.

8. Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don't have the music.

9. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.

10. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination tone.

11. Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are always sensitive about their "stick technique" so challenge it frequently.

12. If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference, making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath about the "subtleties of inflection".

13. Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask, "Is this the first time you've conducted this piece?"

14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage just before the concert.

15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to fidget.

16. Summary:  Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on you, where it belongs!

A Chorister’s Guide to Keeping Conductors in Line

The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upsmanship. The following rules, extracted from one of the foremost sources of vocal wisdom on the Internet (see below), will guide you as you develop the proper relationship between singer and conductor: 1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and vice-versa.  Be sure to hum the pitch aloud. 2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It’s best to do this when the conductor is under pressure. 3. Bury your head in the music just before cues, and throughout every rehearsal and performance. 4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you’re about to quit. Let the conductor know you’re there as a personal favor, and offer subtle reminders about how valuable you are. 5. Insist on group precision.  Raise your hand often to clarify whether each break is to be an eighth note, a full quarter, or some other variable.  Make sure the conductor knows that your score is fully marked, making his or her job just window dressing. 6. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your nose. 7. Check in:  Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at the time. 8. Use your pencil.  At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing. 9. Timing is everything.  Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don’t have the music. 10. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.  Tap one foot throughout the last seven minutes of rehearsal to help the conductor wrap things up.  Whenever possible, start packing up during this period, or for more impact, go to #15. 11. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination tone. 11. Tell the conductor, “I can’t find the beat.” Conductors are frequently sensitive about their “stick technique”, so challenge it frequently. 12. Offer your own knowledge.  If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference, making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath about the “subtleties of inflection”. 13. Offer additional resources.  Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask, “Is this the first time you’ve conducted this piece?” 14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage, just before the concert. 15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to fidget. We’ve all used one or more of these techniques at some point, but put the effort into building them into solid habits.  Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on you, where it belongs! – Adapted, with tongue firmly in cheek, from www.ahajokes.com.

- See more at: http://laurislist.net/blog/2009/04/271/#sthash.tFg5Iqpi.dpuf

this is a mirror post from http://www.ahajokes.com/vocal.html

A Chorister’s Guide to Keeping Conductors in Line

The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upsmanship. The following rules, extracted from one of the foremost sources of vocal wisdom on the Internet (see below), will guide you as you develop the proper relationship between singer and conductor: 1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and vice-versa.  Be sure to hum the pitch aloud. 2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It’s best to do this when the conductor is under pressure. 3. Bury your head in the music just before cues, and throughout every rehearsal and performance. 4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you’re about to quit. Let the conductor know you’re there as a personal favor, and offer subtle reminders about how valuable you are. 5. Insist on group precision.  Raise your hand often to clarify whether each break is to be an eighth note, a full quarter, or some other variable.  Make sure the conductor knows that your score is fully marked, making his or her job just window dressing. 6. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your nose. 7. Check in:  Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at the time. 8. Use your pencil.  At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing. 9. Timing is everything.  Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don’t have the music. 10. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.  Tap one foot throughout the last seven minutes of rehearsal to help the conductor wrap things up.  Whenever possible, start packing up during this period, or for more impact, go to #15. 11. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination tone. 11. Tell the conductor, “I can’t find the beat.” Conductors are frequently sensitive about their “stick technique”, so challenge it frequently. 12. Offer your own knowledge.  If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference, making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath about the “subtleties of inflection”. 13. Offer additional resources.  Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask, “Is this the first time you’ve conducted this piece?” 14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage, just before the concert. 15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to fidget. We’ve all used one or more of these techniques at some point, but put the effort into building them into solid habits.  Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on you, where it belongs! – Adapted, with tongue firmly in cheek, from www.ahajokes.com.

- See more at: http://laurislist.net/blog/2009/04/271/#sthash.tFg5Iqpi.dpuf

A Chorister’s Guide to Keeping Conductors in Line

The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upsmanship. The following rules, extracted from one of the foremost sources of vocal wisdom on the Internet (see below), will guide you as you develop the proper relationship between singer and conductor: 1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and vice-versa.  Be sure to hum the pitch aloud. 2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It’s best to do this when the conductor is under pressure. 3. Bury your head in the music just before cues, and throughout every rehearsal and performance. 4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you’re about to quit. Let the conductor know you’re there as a personal favor, and offer subtle reminders about how valuable you are. 5. Insist on group precision.  Raise your hand often to clarify whether each break is to be an eighth note, a full quarter, or some other variable.  Make sure the conductor knows that your score is fully marked, making his or her job just window dressing. 6. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your nose. 7. Check in:  Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at the time. 8. Use your pencil.  At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing. 9. Timing is everything.  Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don’t have the music. 10. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.  Tap one foot throughout the last seven minutes of rehearsal to help the conductor wrap things up.  Whenever possible, start packing up during this period, or for more impact, go to #15. 11. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination tone. 11. Tell the conductor, “I can’t find the beat.” Conductors are frequently sensitive about their “stick technique”, so challenge it frequently. 12. Offer your own knowledge.  If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference, making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath about the “subtleties of inflection”. 13. Offer additional resources.  Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask, “Is this the first time you’ve conducted this piece?” 14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage, just before the concert. 15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to fidget. We’ve all used one or more of these techniques at some point, but put the effort into building them into solid habits.  Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on you, where it belongs! – Adapted, with tongue firmly in cheek, from www.ahajokes.com.

- See more at: http://laurislist.net/blog/2009/04/271/#sthash.tFg5Iqpi.dpuf

A Chorister’s Guide to Keeping Conductors in Line

The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upsmanship. The following rules, extracted from one of the foremost sources of vocal wisdom on the Internet (see below), will guide you as you develop the proper relationship between singer and conductor: 1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and vice-versa.  Be sure to hum the pitch aloud. 2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It’s best to do this when the conductor is under pressure. 3. Bury your head in the music just before cues, and throughout every rehearsal and performance. 4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you’re about to quit. Let the conductor know you’re there as a personal favor, and offer subtle reminders about how valuable you are. 5. Insist on group precision.  Raise your hand often to clarify whether each break is to be an eighth note, a full quarter, or some other variable.  Make sure the conductor knows that your score is fully marked, making his or her job just window dressing. 6. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your nose. 7. Check in:  Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at the time. 8. Use your pencil.  At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing. 9. Timing is everything.  Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don’t have the music. 10. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.  Tap one foot throughout the last seven minutes of rehearsal to help the conductor wrap things up.  Whenever possible, start packing up during this period, or for more impact, go to #15. 11. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination tone. 11. Tell the conductor, “I can’t find the beat.” Conductors are frequently sensitive about their “stick technique”, so challenge it frequently. 12. Offer your own knowledge.  If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference, making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath about the “subtleties of inflection”. 13. Offer additional resources.  Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask, “Is this the first time you’ve conducted this piece?” 14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage, just before the concert. 15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to fidget. We’ve all used one or more of these techniques at some point, but put the effort into building them into solid habits.  Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on you, where it belongs! – Adapted, with tongue firmly in cheek, from www.ahajokes.com.

- See more at: http://laurislist.net/blog/2009/04/271/#sthash.tFg5Iqpi.dpuf

Barbershop vs Opera

Letter in my inbox:

I'm having vocal difficulty while singing Barbershop Tenor or Lead. I sing flat sometimes, and it really bothers me just how fast that I can drop in pitch. I struggle with it constantly. It's one of the main things that we're working on in my vocal training. Also, my voice cracks a lot more than it use to. We're working on that too.

Should I go back to singing tenor? or Lead? or not at all? I'm told that I should not push at all in barbershop tenor. I'm not sure that style of singing is compatible with my classical training. I love classical singing, but I also love barbershop. My voice teachers think that my voice is better suited for classical. I want to make myself happy, but I love to make others happy as well.

Yours, T.

They are right: you do not push at all singing barbershop tenor... or any other part, either. It strains the muscles and sound, is not pleasant, and often under pitch. You hear singers doing that in both styles of music, and it's unpleasant in both.

Yes, I do sing both classical and barbershop, and do well at both. The "Do Not Strain" rule is true in both classical and barbershop. so is "Beauty At All Costs." You have to make them come true for yourself. No director or coach can MAKE you do it. They can remind you, yes, but you still, every note, have to do it yourself.

I see only a few reasons to choose one style over the other. One is what suits your personal voice best. Luciano Pavarotti is a fabulous opera tenor. That voice as barbershop tenor, or even lead would not be a good fit. There is also the matter of availability of opportunities and competition for performing spots in your area: If you have many opportunities to sing and perform in one role and few in another, that will be a factor on what to chose. Another reason is time. Every minute you are working on barbershop tenor, you are not learning classical or operatic literature and technique. You might only have the time to master one. Which do you chose? What fits best. If you have all the time you want, do both.

Yes, there are different techniques... you have to consciously shift back and forth - chest, head, heavy, light, full, falsetto - between styles and within styles. Do both? Sure. just realize it's two separate studies with much in common and some at odds. Keep them straight, you will do fine.

The last part - you need NOT make a permanent decision. Ever. Try both. Try one. Try neither. Change you mind. It's all good. What makes you happiest? What makes more of everyone else on the planet happiest? If you make a wrong choice, as long as you don't burn any bridges, all is well.

Yours, Gary Shannon
I teach online voice lessons! www.voice-mentor.com My passion: Your art.